Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
