fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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