you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
