His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
