Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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