on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
