i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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