I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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