dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
