question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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