I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just invented taco cereal.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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