i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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