I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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