i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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