It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
