i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
