So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
