So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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