when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
