Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
