Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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