ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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