he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
vagina is talking i cant
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
