dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
