Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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