i think my tv is drunk
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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