I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
