Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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