WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
