The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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