this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Randomize
