Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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