He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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