so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
