Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
