You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
