He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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