Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
