Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
