I just made out with a guy for $7.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
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