She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
