So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
