I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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