Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize