Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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