so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
