That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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