dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
