So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
handjob tips. give me some.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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