Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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