Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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