I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
