I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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