No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
