he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize