When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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