I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
