Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
