Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Oh god it's open bar.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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