I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
