didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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