How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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