Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
