am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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