can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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