How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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